99% OF RELATIONSHIPS FAIL: Are you still with the person you were first in a relationship with? NO? Exactly. How about the 2nd 3rd or 4th person? Can you even remember who they were and where they are now? The cold hard truth is, probably not. In past generations, it was likely to stay with the same partner throughout life. But now, that is a thing of the past. People are in and out of relationships, they are even in relationships but don’t call it a relationship. The fact is, almost all relationships fail at some point. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be in one when you are ready.
THE PASSION FADES: Passion is finite in a relationship. We all go through the honeymoon phase with what seems to be a great partner. But, if you want it to last, make your presence comfortable and not intense. Make yourself memorable and an amazing partner so when the looks, lust and longing are out the door. What remains is you and your partner’s personalities. Sometimes it is good to have the same personality and sometimes opposites attract. Just make sure you are compatible, because at the end of a long day, or week, and you have to come home to someone; that is all that matter.
RELATIONSHIPS HURT: Love is blinding and addictive. Many times it doesn’t make you feel or think right when it is on the verge of collapse. As many relationships fail, the hurt starts and builds itself into walls. But, if it’s meaningful in any way, you will emotionally hurt the other person and/or the other person hurts you. That doesn’t make it not worthwhile, it will just make that relationship memorable, either in a good or bad way or even both. This is just a fact of human relationships.
DON’T BE IN A RELATIONSHIP: A lot of people should not be in a relationship. Since it is critical to work on yourself first before dating or being in a relationship. Dating/relationships should not be a priority when your life is not in order. Just as how a person should not have a luxury car if they can’t afford the repairs. You should not be dating anyone if you can’t afford to live. Once you are at a comfortable place in life where you have a good job, good savings, 3 to 6 months of rent for emergencies, great health insurance, and great life insurance then you may open yourself up to the dating market.
HERE ARE SOME THINGS TO REMEMBER:
1. Nobody stays. Everyone leaves at some point of your life. The sooner you learn to cope and accept that you will be alone for a long time, the better. Even our parents leave us someday, death spares no one. Make yourself comfortable in being alone – find happiness in your solitude.
2. Only your parents genuinely want you to do better than them. Everybody else’s face just goes pale when you do better than them. Humans are competitive by nature. Half of the people you know are just waiting to trip you down from your success throne and take your place.
3. Dating is a waste of time. Especially tinder dates. They just want to fuck or looking for a fling. I don’t believe in blind dates as well. They seldom work out, they might as well be a sociopath. Who knows..right? Date someone you know very well, don’t go out with everyone who asks you out.
4. Keep your enemies close and your friends closer. I appreciated my enemies for being genuine about their hatred towards me. More than often, your friends will be prone to betray/ backstab you instead of your enemies. Be careful about the people you think are your friends.
5. Thoughts don’t matter unless you act on them.Everyone has ideas; anyone can think. But not everyone can put their thoughts and ideas to fruition. What matters more in this world is what you do, and not what you think about. Neil Armstrong was the first man on the moon. I’m sure he heard someone say, “I wanna be the first man on the moon” and he thought, “Me too”. Ideas don’t mean shit, what is significant is if you can actually apply those ideas.
6. Beauty/Looks matter. Don’t give me that personality bullshit is what people care about. Most people out there would go an extra mile to help a pretty people but not a senior citizen. I tend to notice that the attention one receives exponentially decreases as one ages. Someday, I will age and get lesser attention too. Sighs.
7. Everyone is your friend until you need something. This rings true if you also want to test their loyalty towards you. Ask a simple favour from them. See if they are willing to go an extra mile to help you around. If they could only extort help but aren’t willing to help you back, they are selfish. Don’t help them again. More than often, your friends will be prone to betray/ backstab you instead of your enemies.
8. People you prioritize will treat you as their option at some point of life. It happens. People change faster than climate. They might get bored and replace you with someone better. Move on and learn to respect yourself.
9. Online friends are fake friends. I’m pretty sure someone might have mentioned this here already. But listen me out. I’ve spent my whole lifetime connecting and interacting with them. When it comes to spending time physically with me or helping me out, only the friends near me were there. Online friends do console you and make you feel better. But they are hopeless as shit. You wouldn’t want to count on them for anything, really.
10. Hookups are a waste of time.You will find not true happiness in finding a hookup for a quick fuck a fling Relationships that are sex-driven go nowhere. What truly drives the relationship is your companionship for each other; sex is something that goes on the side. Date someone, you know very well; it’s proven that relationships between people who were good friends previously tend to last longer.
11. Having lesser expectations is a big advantage.On people, on yourself. More expectation leads to disappointments. Don’t count on people to help you out. Keep your expectations low and be prepared to take a no for an answer. If you stop expecting stuffs from people, you wouldn’t be let down by anyone. Savvy?
12. Showing your weaknesses to people, and they exploit you for it. Don’t do it. Even if you are a wrecked ball inside, hold your head high and pretend like you are alright. Show your vulnerabilities to people you could really trust, your parents maybe. The rest of the world doesn’t need to know what tingles and tickles you.
13. Nobody is worth your time, energy and effort more than yourself. You are important, prioritize yourself. If you can’t help them, learn to verbally say no. And not feel guilty about it. Denying is your basic right.
14. Nobody remembers all the good thing you do for them. Yet they never forget one incident when you turn them down. Because people are ungrateful. They don’t appreciate what you do for them. Get a dog instead. People are stupid.
15. Be careful who you share your problems withSome people might exploit you for it. Show your vulnerabilities to people you really trust like your parents or a qualified therapist. The world doesn’t give a shit about your problems. period. Keep your head up and walk forward
16. Acting desperate will only push people away from you. Yes, I realized this quite late. If you want someone to approach you, be aloof about it. Take things slow. Being needy or clingy will trigger a flight response and they might run away from you.
17. Be careful who you share your problems withSome people might exploit you for it. Show your vulnerabilities to people you really trust like your parents or a qualified therapist. The world doesn’t give a shit about your problems. period. Keep your head up and walk forward.
18. Never feel ashamed in asking for helpWe all get stuck, and we can’t do everything on our own. Stop shoving that ego up your ass and reach out for assistance.
19. Put all of your energy into what you do.Even if you fail, you can at least say that you went down fighting for what you believed in. You also won’t have to regret under-performing because you did your very best.
20. Keep thinking positive.It will get you through the hard times in life and make you shine through the easy times. Life is a roller coaster, you can’t keep going up, for most people, there are also declines in life. Just stay positive and things will work out.