Sexual tension is the pleasurable feeling that an interaction might be heading towards sex. Because sexual tension is pleasurable, it is a form of value: it’s a positive experience that women not only want, but can easily become addicted to. Sadly, the majority of men believe the opposite: they think that sexual tension is an uncomfortable experience that creeps women out. So, these men avoid making their interactions with women sexual in any way.

On the surface, this makes sense. By making your interactions with women platonic, you avoid putting girls into an awkward situation where they have to reject you. To be clear, being overly sexual can make a woman uncomfortable if you do it in a way she can’t relate to. For instance, talking about sex with a girl you just met is extremely inappropriate.

Fortunately, you don’t need to tell a woman you want to make love to her to be sexual, you can show your intentions more subtly – with your eye contact and the energy you project. Despite the pervasive social narrative that male sexuality is creepy, that men “only want one thing,” in reality, the feeling of being desired by a man is a pleasurable experience for a girl. This is doubly true in a world where men are taught to be ashamed of their lustful nature. Most men are afraid of genuinely expressing sexual interest in a woman, therefore, the few that actually do express this interest create a rare and powerful experience.

That said, creating sexual tension is like a dance, you must take the lead, but you also must be aware of what the girl is experiencing. If you’re holding strong eye contact with a girl and she isn’t reciprocating, that’s a sign that you should respond by toning down your eye contact as well. Generally, if a woman becomes defensive when you are projecting sexual energy, that indicates she’s unavailable to you. She may have a boyfriend, she may be in a bad mood, or perhaps you’re just not her type. This is actually a good thing: it’s better to know that a girl isn’t interested sooner rather than later.

By building sexual tension in subtle ways (through your nonverbal communication), any woman who is at all open to the possibility of hooking up with you will respond positively. With this strategy, you’re not blatantly hitting on women, you’re simply projecting sexual energy. If a girl isn’t open to having that type of interaction with you, she will make it clear by not reciprocating – and then you can take a step back as well (to avoid making her uncomfortable).

The idea that male sexuality is creepy is a half-truth.

When a man is pushy and ignores a woman’s efforts to reject him, that is uncomfortable for her. However, sexual energy is actually a good feeling – it is a type of emotional value you can offer women. And if you learn to project that energy in your interactions with women, your dating life will be completely transformed.

When you’re talking to a cute girl, you shouldn’t just think she’s attractive, you should feel attracted to her on a physiological level. Desire is contagious, if you feel it, the girl will feel it. And that underlying sexual feeling is the spark that makes seduction possible. Without that feeling of desire, there is no reason for a girl to go on a date with you or to go home with you. She might have logically enjoyed your company, but unless she actually felt sexual tension, it’s unlikely she will end up sleeping with you. This sounds obvious, yet few men effectively communicate their sexual desire to women.

Ask yourself this: when you’re attracted to a women, do you feel desire for her on a primal level?

Are you truly turned on by her feminine energy and beauty?

Most men rarely experience raw lust for a woman, they only think they want her on a cognitive level. The desire is logical, there is no real emotion behind it. The difference between a guy who gets repeatedly friend-zoned and a guy who can effortlessly turn women on is his own ability to experience desire. If you rarely feel turned on when you’re interacting with a woman you’re attracted to, you’re missing the point of seduction.

This begs the question: if you’re not experiencing real desire for women, how do you change that?

You might be thinking that you should tell girls you find them attractive or that you should talk about sexual topics. Neither of those things are necessary, and in many cases, they can backfire (being so overt can make women feel uncomfortable).

There’s a better way. A way to project sexual energy without being creepy. Instead of talking about sex on a verbal level, learn to cultivate the ability to experience sexual desire for women.

In modern society, we learn to associate our sex drive with two things: porn and masturbation. We channel our sexual desire into pixels instead of into our real lives. Through years of conditioning, we forget how to see real women as sexual beings. We know on a logical level that we want to have sex with beautiful women, but we don’t feel it on an emotional level when we see a hot girl walk by.

The following are two strategies you can use to undo the social conditioning that has taught you to be uncomfortable with your own sexual nature.


Porn is extremely stimulating – it floods us with explicit images and sounds. An attractive woman in a tight dress isn’t exciting when you’re used to seeing fifteen different girls get naked in a 5-minute compilation video. If you cut out porn, you’ll start to appreciate the natural beauty and sexuality of women in your day-to-day life. Because you no longer have access to this unrealistic fantasy world, reality will become more viscerally appealing.

Additionally, I recommend you make a point to masturbate as little as possible. The less you masturbate, the more sexual energy you will have in your day-to-day life. And if you do masturbate, use your imagination. If you can’t masturbate with your imagination, you’re not really that turned on and you’re just doing it as a rote habit.

The less you masturbate and watch porn, the more raw sexual energy you’ll have in your day-to-day life. Thus, when you’re interacting with a hot girl, you won’t be going through the motions, you will truly want to make something happen with her.


When you’re out approaching women, focus on the sexual side of the environment rather than the logical side of the environment. When you see a cute girl walk by, there’s a difference between thinking, “She’s hot, I should talk to her,” and actually appreciating how sexy she is. Male sexuality gets shamed in modern culture. This is somewhat necessary for society to function – if men were to fully embrace their sexual nature, nothing would get done.

However, it has gotten to a point that most of us are completely cut off from our sexuality. We learn that checking out women is creepy and that wanting sex is perverted. We learn to associate getting a boner with shame rather than excitement. All this coalesces into a state of mind where we are psychologically conditioned to avoid feeling anything sexual in the real world.
You can train yourself to break this conditioning: with your conscious intention, you can regain control of your own sexual desire. This isn’t about being a perv or being creepy, don’t blatantly stare at women’s breasts. But when you see a cute girl walk by, let yourself appreciate her femininity, her beauty, her attractiveness.

It’s in your DNA to do this, you just have to put conscious effort into reclaiming this ability you were born with. If you find this difficult, you can take it a step further: actually visualize sexual imagery when you’re out approaching women. Imagine yourself ripping a girl’s clothes off, imagine her naked, imagine what it would be like to throw her on a bed and make love to her.

This will take some practice, but the results are so life-altering that the effort is worth it. Once you make the shift from attempting to logically attract women, to emotionally seducing them, your life will never be the same. Your interactions with women will be far more powerful, impactful, and enjoyable – not only for you, but for the girls as well.

Don’t take this to mean that you need to be verbally blunt and sexual. In fact, I do the opposite, I say things that make women think I might not be sexually attracted to them. But on an emotional level, there is a clear sexual ‘vibe’, it’s in my eye contact, my vocal tonality, and my overall demeanor.

If on a verbal level, you seem somewhat uninterested in a girl, but there is a clear sexual heat in your nonverbal communication, that will create sexual tension. She can feel that you want her, but because your words imply the opposite, she’ll wonder what’s going to happen, “I’m attracted to this guy, but I can’t tell whether he really likes me or if he sees me as a friend.” Do it well, and the sexual tension will build up to a point that sex becomes a foregone conclusion.

Unfortunately, most men learn that dating is about making a girl logically think you’re a good option for her first, so that she then experiences an emotional desire for you. The truth is the opposite: seduction is a process that starts with an emotion and only gets explained with logic afterwards. In dating, your primary focus should be on the emotions you’re making women experience, and the easiest place to start is with yourself.

Any feeling you experience will spread to the people around you, and sexual desire is no exception.