Have you ever heard the saying that goes along the lines of, “show me any woman, even the most beautiful woman in the world and I will show you a man that is tired of her”. Now, I am not trying to be crude but bringing up a point that looks attract a man to a woman (and vice versa) but her personality is what will always make him stay.

Have you the skills to succeed in your workplace?
I have seen many successful men get destroyed due to their misunderstandings of a relationship. They think because they have accumulated skills and experiences in life that those skills will transfer into dating. Skills such as showing up on time, being nice, doing what is right, being a stand-up guy, placating co-workers or bosses and doing what you are told in the workplace.

I will tell you this, some of these things are good but many will just get your head cut off when it comes to dating. This is because at work you can provide utility and get rewarded for it. In dating, you provide utility and you get played and suckered for it. This is the divide between success in everything else and success in relationships.

Some men feel that just because a woman sees them as relationship material then that is the be all and end all of being in a GOOD relationship – but that is far from the case. Being seen as relationship material is different from a woman being sexually attracted to you. Of course, a woman can see you as both relationship material while also being sexually attracted to you but that duality is becoming rare.

Too many women are being bold and upfront with men while calling them idiots and fools – if a man says hello at the bar to a woman, she quicky retorts that she doesn’t speak to anyone if they do not buy her a drink. When this is said to me, I just turn around and walk away because I know my worth and I am not a trick – I can easily talk to another woman who will be more respectful. Furthermore, I will always buy my friends a drink without them even asking and even pay for their dinner – that is because they are my friends through merit and these friends have earned my trust.

Getting good at relationships.
The relationship game is a whole different type of hustle if you want to succeed. If you are looking for a girlfriend and/or long-term partner then you need to be aware that some actions can be seen as weak while others are seen as strength. Helping a co-worker out at work where the both of you can feed off each other’s energy and move up in life is completely different from helping a girl you are dating. If you haven’t screened this girl properly then she might see you as just another guy she is getting things from (aka a transactional relationship) –  your actions are considered a weakness.

You have to do what you need to do in the dating realm and understand that the things you might do to help family, co-workers, friends and at school doesn’t necessarily translate well when it comes to dating. Dating and relationships are just different, it is about interacting with the opposite sex where both sexes have different needs and interests – men mostly looking for sex and women mostly looking for some sort of commitment.

The worst thing a man can do is think he is wanted sexually when a woman is just using him for a transactional relationship – anything from having him as a free taxi to pick up her laundry, go to the gym and Costco to being a sugar baby that gets a monthly stipend along with Fendi, Prada, Gucci and Versace bags added into the equation.

Tit for tat.
The best attraction out of being wanted sexually or for a relationship is the sexual attraction. Sexual attraction can easily transition into being wanted both sexually and for a relationship if you have qualities that a woman finds attractive on a long term aspect.

Going the other way is an uphill battle. You can’t go from being used to pay for rent, a car note, bags and dinner to a woman finding you sexually enticing. Now, I am not saying it doesn’t happen but it is extremely difficult to be in constant contact with a woman and have her change her perspective of you.

If you went away for years and came back to town and she saw you grew taller, have facial hair, is muscular and drives a nice car then that woman from your past that wouldn’t even look your way can easily be sexually attracted to you because of the major changes you have undergone. But, if you interact with her frequently, those changes may be easily taken for granted.

In conclusion.
Know that you can be successful at everything in life except for a real relationship. Ever seen the broke bad boy hanging out and hooking up with the hottest girls? This is because those girls are sexually attracted to him, he may not be relationship material but they are definitely turned on by his looks, charm and attitude.

Some women have men that they use for monetary value and have one or two men that they use for their sexual needs. They keep these two relation dynamics separate and aren’t afraid to tell their friends, family and even other men about it. So, don’t be the laughing stock and the butt of the joke by having a girl play you stupid and use you.