A beautiful woman will seemingly have unlimited options when it comes to men.
These women are pursued by every type of man, the confident, kind hearted, successful, charming, and wealthy men at one of the spectrum to the mean, distant, full of attitude bad boys on the other end of the spectrum and everyone else in between.
Now, you would think that the rich, good-looking, and charming guys would get the beautiful girl, right? And they do for the most part get the girl but some attractive women do not like these types of guys.
Or, should I clarify, they like guys like these in front of the camera or say they do on paper but when in action, they choose the bad-boy types.
Some bad-boy types are distant, indifferent to the point of disrespect and are filthy in attitude.
Some attractive women like these kinds of guys because of their upbringing. They are accustomed to these guys due to their personality. It brings back memories, comfort and solace to them due to their parents, relatives, first boyfriends or even teachers.
These women ruminate in their feelings of being never good enough, inadequate, and low priority. These feelings, although uncomfortable, also feels familiar and that is why they have come to like it. Because familiarity brings comfort.
Thus, these men that are emotionally distant, disrespectful, inconsistent yet can love and care for them SOMETIMES bring back these feelings of comfort.
These men put these women on an emotional rollercoaster with the highs and lows. The highs of being seldom loved and the lows of being treated like shit (almost always).
Because of their parents and loved ones, these women look at these bad-boy types as the archetype of someone who will look after them.
Children need to grow up in an environment where they are loved and cherish. But, when they do not, the attractive woman that loves the bad-boys is sometimes what spawns.
The lack of love will drive her to desperately try to win the bad-boy’s approval and attention to get it. This ensues into a repeated pattern in each and every one of her relationships.
The men that truly treat her well only give her the highs over and over and over again that her mind will start to crave the dark and dangerous lows. These kind and caring men don’t fulfill her wants and needs – they are not familiar to her.
For some, they are even weird, something is wrong with THEM for ALWAYS being nice and kind. Relationships to her don’t work like that.
When this woman meets men that are emotionally un-available, distant, and rude, it triggers a swelling desire to win the attention of these men.
When these men treat her like crap it brings in the lows. Yet, when he shows a bit of affection, it will bring in the high and the emotional rollercoaster resumes – she will feel deep satisfaction, contentment, solace and comfort in this familiar feeling.
This is the familiarity she feels she craves because this is what she was accustomed to as a child and during her years of maturing into an adult. She is finally enough again and thinks this is what “love” means.
These issues typically cannot be resolved naturally and can morph into serious disorders such as the ones below:
- A borderline woman will seek unconditional love and a partner that acts like a parent, since she didn’t get the proper parenting in her family of origin when she was a child.
- A schizoid woman will seek the safety that her parents failed to provide. She will be independent, emotionally distant, and may or may not require a sexual relationship. If there is sex involved, it will be for her pleasure and not emotional connection. She will avoid any relationship and closeness by all means and will only develop deep connections with animals.
MODELING AFTER THE PARENT:
How a parent or parents raise a child is extremely important because that child will model their personality after them. They say by the age of 6, our personality is practically set.
- If a person has parents that settle arguments through lies and deception, then that is exactly what a child will learn to do.
- If one or both parents routinely lie to or deceive others outside of their romantic relationships. Then they will be inclined to do the same within their intimate relationships. And the child will learn to do the same, the child will see this as a normal thing to do.
- If one or both parents normalizes using friends and family for money and resources with no intention of reciprocating or giving back then the child will learn to do the same
- If a person has parents that show “love” through physical abuse, that child will absorb that knowledge and reciprocate it in their relationships
- Over-all, a dysfunctional household will breed a dysfunctional personality
WHAT THE GOOD GUYS CAN’T OFFER:
- The good boys can’t offer the rollercoaster of love and instability. She craves the highs and lows of this emotional roller-coaster that spills out into the physical.
- She yearns for the guy who is so distant – he hangs up on her, he tells her off, it is a coin flip whether or not he will actually show up
- The bad boy will randomly show up, he will be nice until he just explodes on her randomly such as a landmine.
- The bad boys will discard her coldly, they don’t care. Until they come around again.
- The bad boys can give bruises, begonias and black eyes, the good boys can’t
WHAT THE GOOD GUYS ONLY OFFER:
- They offer warmth and kindness without the rage
- They can’t offer the emotional roller-coaster because they truly care
- The good guys offer a long-term healthy relationship – they can’t offer fear, jealousy, insecurity, anger, and violent physicality
- They good guys can’t offer a real dreadful surprise and serious danger
- The good guy is predictable – the rent or mortgage will be paid, the electricity bill isn’t past due, the car notes and credit card bills are current
- There is no middle of the night moves due to past due rent like the bad boys would do it.
- The good guy is enough and safe and that is why he will never be enough for her
MIRRORING THE BEAUTIFUL GIRL – WHY SOME ATTRACTIVE GUYS CAN’T GET A WOMAN:
- With some men – good looks and wealth comes with attitude. This attitude can be cold, insincere, and distant.
- Add in options and you get a guy with an indifferent attitude to good women. They have options and therefore they will just move on to the next girl. They don’t care if you are a smart, good looking, down to earth, successful and an intelligent woman. If you don’t do what they say, they either get violent or they get gone.
- Arrogance also plays a big part. This man can be lost in himself. He can just enjoy the feeling of being awesome, and that feeling is so strong that he feels he doesn’t need a partner for himself – just one-night stands and FWBs. He will be fine, this is what his dad did right? And he turned out alright. He doesn’t need a partner because he is doing fine with himself.
- Sometimes he doesn’t want to change – he isn’t the fix’er upper type – he is the F her down type. He doesn’t want to hear your bullshit about change and being better. He likes who he is – all his life he has seen guys just like him survive. The weak guys were trusting, caring, loving and kind. Where he comes from, guys that act, talk, think and look like him are the only ones that survive.
- He only sees one type of love and this love parallels the same tough love his mother gave him when growing up. He doesn’t want kind gushy love – he wants the kind that is cold where he will be getting beaten one moment then 10 minutes later he is told, “I love you”. He has come to know and trust that as what he needs.
- He doesn’t know how to reciprocate traditional love and if he is in a relationship, it is mostly one-sided until he gets sick of it and disappears – he hates this feeling. No, I am wrong, he actually fears it because it is not what he is used to feeling and the unfamiliarity is scary.
- If he goes out on a date and is treated well by a woman – he will have mixed feelings. He will not know how to react because he has seldom experienced this kind of treatment. It is so strange that he has to get rid of this woman to feel “normal” again
- Over-all, this is what a man raised by bad parents can look like.
The beautiful girl you are trying to date as a good guy can have problems. Based on her childhood, she can be torn and broken – full of emotions that scream out with seemingly no-one to listen. She yearns for the bad boy types because they are a replica of her past. She finds familiarity and solace with them because they expose feelings she felt through-out growing up that are very familiar.
Sometimes, as a good guy, no matter how hard you try, you can’t win over this beautiful girl because you are frankly just not her type. She can predict what you will do and that is not thrilling, exciting or familiar.
If you are the good girl and want the bad guy, he is also torn and broken. You may love the thrill of unpredictability and passion but there is a difference between the fix-er upper and the man that will only drag you down. Don’t lose sight of your morals and scruples for excitement because comfort and stability are much more exciting in my eyes.