The alpha widow is the woman that is widowed due to her past relationship. She was with an Alpha male or what she views as an Alpha male and will judge every man before and after by this standard.
The instant you approach this alpha widow you will be judged. She will instantly compare any and all men to the standard that was the alpha man in her life.
Women like this are hard to please and have an over-inflated sense of self. How she views the world is not realistic. She wants to date the top 5% of men and feels the latter 95% are beneath her.
The Alpha that was in her life has given her a skewed view of the world. He was the type of man that knew how to interact well with a woman. He knows what to say and how to say it. He knew when to say it and where to say. He even knew why he was saying it.
This man knew that women want to feel like they have to do work and overcome obstacles to truly win a man. For a man with options is a man without need and women crave a challenge to capture the interest of a man from another woman’s competition. He knew that a man that is too tunnel visioned on a woman and gives his emotions to a woman too easily will be replaced with haste since a woman will find satisfaction in earning affection rather than getting it so easily. Let her earn and yearn for your fulfillment.
Women want men who other women want to be with and procreate with – social proof. It is essential to understand that no woman wants a man that no other woman wants. Women don’t care about your struggle(s), they will metaphorically wait at the finish line for all the successful men in life to show up and choose from the winners. Furthermore, resources, protection and attention keeps women engaged and this alpha man knew this. He knew to flirt with other women in front of her as this shows his social proof and is his social validation of value. He knew that jealousy, when played well can excite and entice any woman.
He knew how to be on his purpose and be a man of abundance that is set to a mission in life. For one of the worst things any man can do is abandon and forget his life goals in the quest and thrall of a woman.
He knew that any man that is set on proclaiming his undying love for a woman is a man whose relationship lifespan is dwindling. For most women will never tell you this but they do not want to be that one woman in your life unless they are the arbiter to that decision. Women will want to work for a man’s desire and subordinate themselves to his goals and purpose in life but seemingly only by their choice and decision. Furthermore, catching one-itis in a relationship is a death sentence. He knows not to get tunnel vision and he has options that will make him cool, calm, collected and a man with an abundance mindset.
This was why this man was viewed as an alpha and this is what she still yearns for as the alpha widow.
THE ALPHA WIDOW:
Do you want to know if your woman sees you as an alpha? A woman will see you as an alpha if she has genuine burning desire for you. If you truly want this then ‘spin plates’ and let the cream rise to the top.
The alpha widow is set in her mindset of men. The only way you will be able to compare is if you are incredibly good looking (model looks), a baby or a cute kitten or puppy. I kid.
But, she has a dogged interest in discovering the weaknesses of men and exploiting that weakness to your detriment. Her ability to pair-bond may effectively is gone due to her multiple interactions and rendezvous with various men through-out her life. And this is an ever-increasing problem the more relationships she gets committed in that dissolve.
The alpha widow will test you, from the moment she lays eyes on you – she will test you in comparison to the alpha man that was.
BETACIZATION THROUGH 1000 CONCESSIONS:
As Heartiste has put it, there is a golden ratio. This ratio is to re-enforce the idea of not being over-bearing and to create boundaries.
“Give your woman 2/3 of everything she gives you. For every three calls or texts, give her two back. Three declarations of love earn two in return. Three gifts; two nights out. Give her two displays of affection and stop until she has answered with three more.”
You need to establish greater value for yourself, as well as show your laid-back attitude and indifference to her emotional states. Don’t get swept up into her emotional storm – stay firm and in frame. This is what many men fail to do and it is at this point that they spiral into betacization. You will be turned into a beta slowly and surely if YOU DO NOT KEEP FRAME.
Many men fail to keep their women guessing. They fail to keep her up and down on an emotional rollercoaster and that is why SHE GETS OFF THE RIDE. Women will ask questions they don’t want answers to, and say things she does not mean or want. If she knows exactly what you are thinking then you do not excite her, if she has to keep guessing what comes next then that is thrilling and she will crave more. A woman will want security in all ways except for passion. Furthermore, punish her swiftly and reward her slowly. This unpredictability will keep her on her toes and wanting to please you.
Many men fall into a comfortable role once the honeymoon phase of their relationship is over. This is one of the first cuts in the death of the relationship. Being set and comfortable in a role supplies predictability and predictability is a bad thing in any romantic relationship. Thus, additional betacization occurs.
Furthermore, these men have allowed themselves to be “kept” by being in a serious and committed relationship with a woman. These men do not have options they can fall back to and thus, the women in their lives know this and will take full advantage. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean to cheat, I mean that you can leave the relationship and immediately find a great partner without issue if you do choose. Sometimes these options will be women that will orbit you because they find you to be taken yet a good catch. That is what having options truly means.
An alpha male strives for perfection yet he will never reach it. Perfection is a practice that is life long. In a relationship, strive to keep your woman happy by having her keep you happy first and foremost. Sometimes mistakes can happen and you may lose frame. It is okay to say sorry when wrong but constantly saying sorry will be constant reminders to her of your submission and thus another cut and concession is made.
Be a man and connect with your girl’s emotions. But, don’t simmer in them. BE IN YOUR OWN FRAME. This is important, you do not want to “be in your feelings” and get down to her emotional level. This will end in shouting matches at best and a man in a shouting match with a woman is out of frame and perspective and is by definition weak, even if it is only in that instant. If you get into a low vibrational frame then you will introduce negativity in your life and yet another cut and concession is made.
Do this instead – connect with your woman’s emotional landscape but in an understanding and empathetic level. It is good to understand and bond with her but not seethe in her feelings. Ask her questions about work in a general sense, if she is upset then console and cure her. If she is happy then relish in it. She will enjoy this and this will strengthen your bonds with her.
Be a man that knows to ignore a woman’s beauty and focus on the value she brings to your life. Remember, this woman’s beauty is perishable – it fades. Too many men go down the wrong paths because they are overtly obsessed with beauty to the point that they are blindsided by it. Don’t become powerless under the spell of beauty. Only give compliments when it is earned and deserve, not as a placeholder for courtship. A man that doles out compliments is a fool because he is just showing how weak he truly is and in turn he will give up another concession and become further betacized.
A man must maximize his strengths and minimize his weaknesses. In life, I work on what I am good at and so should you. If you want to be at the apex of anything then you need to be the best at it. The pursuit of a purpose is what drives the attraction of many women to us men – it is like a gravitational pull. It is imperative you identify your strengths as well as your shortcomings. If you are a talented coder then speak on the subject in conversation if physicality is not your best suit. If you are talented at cooking then cook instead of raising awareness to your poor conversation skills. The idea here is to play to your strengths – whatever they are.
One of the easiest concessions many men can avoid but often make is to not please their woman. You need to make love to her each and every night as if it is your last. Make her feel good emotionally and physically through passionate love making. Too many men fall into a mundane lifestyle of not putting their all into their love making. I was never one to do this because I knew the importance of intimacy and what it does to a relationship – it can make or break you. If you do not do this then you will be left or cheated on or cucked or just Beta’d.
Have you ever heard of a “death by 1000 cuts”? It’s a Chinese torture technique that is slow and painful. It is the equivalent of what a woman can and will do to your manhood over time if you let her. Except you won’t die, only your soul and manhood will. This is exactly what has happened to countless numbers of man over thousands of years.
If you have been beta’d then you have failed to have mastery over yourself. I see too many men that have been Beta’d because they bend the knee to a woman and although she feigns that she is okay with you doing everything she askes of you – the reality is, she despises you for it and will soon depart with haste. Thus. if you allow the woman/women in your life to make the rules then she will scorn you for it. She may never say it, or show it but deep down she will. Remember, women break rules for Alpha men and make MORE rules for the Betas in their lives.
You have been beta’d if you have lost your masculine frame and thus, your frame control is gone. This is where you have left your frame and entered her frame and have met any and all of her demands. You must play by your own rules as a man. For as soon as you abandon your rules, you are in the beta box – and this is what happens to most men.
A woman’s primary unwritten role in your relationship will be to attempt to turn you into a Beta by constantly chipping away at your masculine frame. It is up to you as a man to endure it and in fact, THRIVE IN IT. Once she sees that you may bend but never break, she will admire you even more.
Furthermore, it is her secondary unwritten relationship role to break you through your weaknesses. And it is your role as a man to see through this attempt and keep frame. She will attempt to walk all over you even though she wants you to stop her, she will attempt to give you ultimatums when in reality she wants them from you, she will be unpredictable in her moods but as long as you are steadfast she will know that she is in the gaze of a powerful man. Not power so much as in social standing, resources or monetary gains but powerful in being bowed but never broken.
Most men fail to maintain frame – all the crying, yelling, lying, head games, sexual withdrawal, jealousy ploys, pity plays, shit tests, being hot and cold or cold then hot, disappearing acts, and guilt trips take a toll and they get off-centre. If you do this then you are playing to your weaknesses and not your strengths. Don’t let her get you into an emotional vice-grip – maintain your manly frame and energy.
Furthermore, cautious men sometimes never get the girl, so be as bold as the early bird catching the worm. Women have amazing social intelligence and can sniff out your weakness and timidity a mile away. The nice ones will be nice but the mean ones will be nasty and exploit your weakness. This is how men slowly or sharply get turned into a beta – through their social interactions with women. The man that is not bold and is shy will be blasted and beaten down so much he turns into a cowardly beta as society chooses him to be.
Never be afraid to lose your girl. That fear will get you Beta’d. You will succumb to her whims and she will slowly destroy you and once you have become the pitiful shell of what was once Alpha, she will exit and look for another Alpha man to destroy if he fails to maintain his frame.
To maintain a masculine frame, self confidence is a must. With-out it, you will become effeminate in a negative way. Alpha men exude confidence like heat, a shine or an energy source. Copious self-confidence triggers submissive emotional responses in women while the antithesis gets you Beta’d.
If you have been Beta’d then you are no longer that authority figure and you will be removed from her presence in short time. Some of you reading now might not believe this fact but by your own anecdotal evidence over time, you will come to know it as truth.
Now, I am not saying to be toxic, what I am saying is for you to know how to be an interesting person with a gravitational pull, know how to escalate situations with women wisely, know when and how much to give, know that you can’t always be available and just be a good person at heart
If you are at this point then there is no turning back – just like passing the event horizon of a black hole – it will be inevitable once you have been Beta’d. Near or far, it will happen. Either suddenly like a crash or slowly like a thief through the night. You may start to notice her always having to spend more time at the office, or talking more and more about a man from work, buying new fancy clothes to wear, going to the gym or going on a diet. These are all just tell-tale signs of the expiration date of your relationship.
Once you have been broken – there is no fixing of the relationship. You can’t fix her mindset of you. She will always have this mindset and the best strategy is not counselling but just to simply learn from your mistakes and move on.
We all make mistakes, even I have been here. Now, the real mistake is not learning from your mistake(s). You should learn from each and every bad situation you place yourself in and get better at it and in life. Just because one woman find that you are a Beta does not mean another woman will. Being Alpha or Beta is subjective to each woman you meet. In fact, you can be Alpha to one woman and Beta to another all in the same day due to how each woman perceives you.
Just remember, be a genuine, honest, humble, interesting, candid person that is a great communicator. You should be empathetic and true to yourself while knowing how to be wise with your words. Know how to carry a conversation, have impeccable social skills, know how to build comfort and trust while being an interesting person with a gravitational pull and know how to escalate situations wisely.
This might seem like a lot but trust me it isn’t, just be a man on your purpose, treat people kindly, have some manners and know how to navigate tough (social) situations and you will be most or all of these things.
SOME POINTS TO MAKE:
There is a difference between ‘gaming’ your woman and gaming your woman. The point is, women are not a game, but you should ‘game’ them as in put them on an emotional rollercoaster. Not in a negative sense as some bad boys do it but in a sense where you can’t emotionally plateau or stun your woman. Remember, women are emotional creatures and they need and crave the highs and lows – so give it to them. Being on an emotional rollercoaster isn’t supposed to be bad. You can do it in a positive way, such as surprise dinners, surprise outings, and doing something new that excites your partner such as going dancing because she likes salsa or bachata. These all give a dopamine effect and bring on swells of emotions.
Too many people see being on an emotional rollercoaster as a negative. Because they have had experiences from guys that didn’t handle their emotions properly and thus they are seeing things as very negative.
Gaming your woman should not be about playing life as if it is a video game, you can’t hit reset on a relationship or hit reset on your life. If you view it as this way then you are bound to repeat your loses. And I will say this again, not learning from your mistakes is the biggest mistake you can ever make.