She is having sex; it’s just not with you.

This rings with truth to this day. I was told this exact statement by a woman in my younger years and when I thought about it and still think about it, I always see it as the truth.

If you have been on a date with a woman several times and it hasn’t escalated, then she is either a really good and innocent girl or she has no sexual interest in you. She is there for a transactional relationship. Plus, it is highly likely she is already having sex with someone else.

Let’s take a look at a scenario where you are seeing a chick and having regular sex with her:
She comes over but she is suddenly withdrawn from the idea of having sex with you. What does this mean? Well, this brings me to one of my many rules, and it states: Rule one: She is having sex with someone.

If you have been having sex with a chick and she suddenly stops having sex or wanting to have sex with you then she is either no longer attracted to you or she has found someone else and having sex with him (or her).

Don’t be fooled gentleman, I declare Occam’s razor on this one, which states, the simplest reason is most likely the correct one.

A woman will not just stop having sex with you out of the blue for no particular reason. The reasons could be as simple as she is not in the mood because you no longer turn her on to something more serious such as her mom or dad being sick and her thoughts are elsewhere.

Aside from sickness, it usually lands on her being busy with life or just the fact that she has found someone else that she feels is better in one or many facets than you are.

Gentlemen, perception is everything, just because she feels that another guy is ‘better’ than you doesn’t mean he actually is. There are many women who leave one guy for another, only to end up back at square one.

Let me tell you something…

While living in Toronto, I remember this one chick. We connected on a dating app (POF at the time) and decided to meet up.

We had drinks and went back to her place. We hung out, after we had sex I wanted to clean up and used her washroom. But, something caught my eye, it was a garbage bin with a freshly used condom in it that wasn’t mine.

I didn’t pay much attention to it and immediately left but casually brought it up another day. She got super defensive while telling me it was from her friend who had sex with a guy the week before and wanted to use her place (and bed). I found that strange but it didn’t matter. Plus, I explained that didn’t make any sense since the garbage bin was empty except for the condom, so that meant it was pretty recent and not last week. She lost her shit. And this brings me to another rule: Rule two: It just doesn’t make sense. If a girl tells you a story and it doesn’t make any sense then it is probably not true. You could call Occam’s razor on this one as well but we will just leave it as rule two.

Some of you might think, I was butt hurt about the situation. But, I really wasn’t. It was the fact that she told me that she wasn’t seeing or dating anyone else and haven’t had sex in over a year. I didn’t even ask her, she divulged this information to me. She was just trying to sucker guys and at that time, I fell for it.

The real problem was this, she was lying to me. And if a chick is lying to me then it means she thinks I am STUPID enough to believe the lie else she wouldn’t try to tell me the lie in the first place. By that train of thought, she was being disrespectful and had to go.

Funny enough, 9 months later she gave birth to a baby girl and was officially a statistic and a single mom. So not only was I right but she was back on POF for years searching for a guy to be long term with.

Here is another one. I met this super cute native chick while driving in uptown Toronto one day. She looked more Asian than native. We talked and went out to Dave and Busters for just a few games and a drink, or so I thought. For those that don’t know, Dave and Busters is like an adult Chuckie Cheese. We played a few games but she was more interested in drinking. She decided to have a rum and coke and then another one and then a gin and tonic. THEN, she decided to have a look at all the exotic drinks and started ordering those. I started to have an uneasy feeling about this all since the tab was starting to get high. She then started to tell me to get the same drink with her so we could ‘drink and toast together’ – I obliged but stopped after 3 drinks and paid the bill that was at this point $120. I told her, lets leave and she replied that we can after just one more drink, so she ordered it. At this point the waiters and waitresses started to give looks, the kind they give when they feel you have had enough. Funny enough, she would have been refused service by this point but I was the driver so the drinks kept on coming. Every time, after that ‘last drink’ she would always want “just one more.” 

Knowing what I know now, I should have put my foot down, but I didn’t – which brings me my next and final rule: Rule three: We all have a choice. You see, I had the choice of just getting up and walking away at the $120 point and then at the $200 point, then the $300 point and the $400 point. But I made the choice not to and it cost me my money and abasement.

I did end up smashing but to me, the sex wasn’t worth the bullshit and the disrespect of using a man for drinks. Especially when I could have bought bottles for $50 to $100 and drink with her at home. I had a good job but for most people, spending $400 on drinks in only a couple hours is just foolish. From this experience, I learnt to not let a woman use me and to put my foot down whenever this type of bullshit comes up.

Now let me tell you about the next time I met up with the native chick, since I clearly did not learn my $400 lesson. I went over to her apartment one night, it was a triplex across from Downsview Park, she lived with her mom and two brothers and had no idea where her dad was. One brother was called Dave and the other was called ‘Bear’ for reasons I will tell you later.

I went in and saw the two brothers around a stove handling potatoes, I asked what they were doing and they told me they didn’t have anything to eat and was going to roast or bake the potatoes.

I got curious and asked where the mother was, the native chick, lets finally call her Alice said that their mom was going around to hospitals trying to get pain prescriptions so she could get the pain meds to get high. This was a red flag but I was young and still gave things a chance.

Now, I wasn’t about to let 3 people starve so I said I could just order two pizzas since Little Caesar’s had a special going on and it would only cost me $5 each for the two pizzas. Their eyes lighted up, they started coming up with ideas and told me, why don’t I just give them the $10 and they could just get beers. Another red flag.

After a bit of back and forth, I ended up paying about $20 or so for a case of beer and no food. They were fine with their potatoes and would gladly use my money for beers. After getting the beers, we started talking and found out Dave was fresh out of jail for stealing a police car with a shotgun still in the back. And ‘Bear’ was called Bear because he loved to fight and wouldn’t stop punching someone even if they were unconscious.

After a while, Bear started giving me the eye and funny looks. I knew what was up, he wanted to fight me and wanted me to say ANYTHING to him so he could come over and start punching me in the face. Now, I could handle myself but when you are in someone else’s house, all his brother and sister would do when a fight breaks out is jump on me and it would end up being a three versus one situation. My social skills weren’t great but they were good enough to understand that.

I mentioned it to Dave, and he thought I was bullshitting but I mentioned it again after we both got another beer and told him to look at his brother while he was doing it. He caught on and caught Bear giving me fighting looks and went to talk to him.

I won’t bore you with the rest of a long story unless you want me to. BUT, at the end of it all, the dynamic with Alice ended the same way it started – her trying to hustle and exploit me. She tried stealing from my place and even tried to steal one of my cell phones. She further tried to get as much money out of me as possible in many ways so she had to go.

What does my last story have to do with sex?

Well, everything! If I had stayed with Alice, she would keep upping the ante until I was broke and then she would be gone – off to have sex and potentially fleece another unsuspecting guy.

Don’t expect every person in the world to be nice and kind to you. There are lots of awesome people in the world but there are also some really nasty people that have zero issues manipulating you for their own gains.

Don’t fall prey to an unscrupulous woman disrespecting you and using you for her own gains. Put your foot down, have an abundance mindset. Being scared to stand up for yourself when a hot girl disrespects you is an attitude coming from a scarcity mindset with women. There are tonnes of beautiful women in the world, you don’t need to be disrespected by the one standing across from you.

In conclusion and over-all

All I am saying is that if you use your brain instead of your genitals then you can figure a lot of shit out.

I have accumulated a lot of experience on my end in the dating and relationships scene and I want to share this knowledge with you.

Listen, there is nothing wrong with women being free and having sex but there is something wrong with having your cake and eating it too. If a woman is having sex with multiple guys then all the power to her. Just don’t tell me you aren’t having sex with anyone. I would rather hear the truth and be cool about it than be disrespected with a lie.

It is a fact that women are leagues ahead of men when it comes to social skills and social intelligence – they just have that much more experience. An attractive woman gets hit on so much that they form the skills necessary to navigate a multitude of scenarios well. Especially when compared to how much an average guy gets exposed to inter-sexual interactions outside of work and in a relationship or dating atmosphere.

P.S. If you want a part two of this then let me know in the comments.