Completing a NoFap challenge can be one of the most difficult tests of anyone’s life. For many, the first few days of a NoFap challenge are the most difficult since being alone in your house, condo or apartment with high speed internet, a laptop, a phone or a computer can make it very difficult. Ask anyone who has relapsed during the first few days how difficult it is to even cross a week during their challenges especially during the coronavirus pandemic.
Thus, I have assembled some tips and tricks to help you get passed 7 days and beyond.
TIPS TO GET YOU THROUGH THE FIRST WEEK AND MORE:
Stop over-thinking it:
If you have not passed 7 days before then stop thinking that you won’t past seven days – you are putting yourself into a mental cage and this won’t end well for you. Stop limiting yourself. Confucius once said “The Man who says he can, and the man who says he can not. Are both correct” So stop pitying yourself with this mindset of constant relapsing and you will break free.
Consistency and discipline are key:
Show consistency with new routines and habits. Make up different things to do each day and finish them. Read/study for a couple of hours, start working out, cook yourself a nice meal.
Ask yourself this. Aside from the addiction, are you truly happy with where you are in life right now? This question should not be answered right away. Instead you should sit down, grab a piece of pen and paper, write down all the things you want to do. Are any of them long term goals? Is lack of money a problem? Do you not posses the right qualifications? Start from there then.
With fapping we get instant rewards with no efforts so most likely it will be hard to switch from that type of mindset and just grind yourself to achievement either through work, studies, and training. Motivation is part of it but discipline and consistency are key factors and by doing consistent things you will soon get used to the habit and it will flow naturally for you.
Limit your use of the internet:
Use the Internet sparingly and only when needed – If you know you’ll only need it for a specific tasks then once that task is completed then unplug the internet, or move to another room and continue to do your work. This will help you with the urge and distractions of the internet.
Maybe try not using the internet in private and use it in public if that is your vice. Study at the library instead of home so you don’t have the urge or opportunity to relapse. Use your phone in front of other people so your mind doesn’t sway and you don’t start looking at certain websites. Don’t let the internet trigger a relapse.
Get motivated and stay motivated:
Get motivated by whatever motivates you, whether that be music, watching motivational videos or readings books. Identify and connect with your favourite character in a movie or a motivational speaker. This will allow you to forget everything including your addiction and relapse issue(s) and be in the moment.
Get enough sleep:
Get as much sleep and rest as possible, if you get little sleep then that can lead to stress and being stressed leads to little sleep – it will be a never-ending cycle. So, get the rest you need. Get into a routine where you go to bed and wake up at the same time.Take a warm shower or bath before bed and if you ever have the urge then take a cold shower to negate it. Try meditation before bed and avoid blue light by not using your electronic devices at night such as your cell phone or laptop
Avoid coffee, black tea, energy drinks and caffeine hours before you go to bed. Plus, don’t take naps if they make you stay awake at night.
Reduce your stress:
- Distract yourself: This can be with music, audiobooks or even YouTube. Many people find it’s more fun to exercise while listening to something they enjoy anyway.
- Find forms of exercise that are fun: If you enjoy it then you will do it more often. Extroverted people often like classes and group activities. People who are more introverted often prefer solo pursuits. So tailor something to your liking.
- Take a walk: Jog, walk, bike, or dance three to five times a week for 30 minutes.
- Set small daily goals: Aim for consistency in your daily life rather than perfection. It’s better to walk every day for even just 15-20 minutes than to wait until you have enough time to do it such as the weekend. Frequency in workouts and routine is also important as suggested by scientific data.
- Have a workout friend: It is often easier to keep on track with your exercise routine when you have motivation through a friend, partner, or colleague.
- Be patient: You can’t do or finish all of this overnight. Take it one step at a time and one day at a time. It can sometimes take a few weeks to get into the routine of things.
Have mentors, family members or friends to rely on:
No matter what is on your mind or what is on your life, a real friend and a good family member will always be there for you. So if you having issues with the NoFap challenge then maybe turn to that good friend or friends or family member for some support.
This is a very downplayed part of NoFap but having friends doing the same challenge as you and having the ability to talk to them is very re-assuring. You can even reach out to a mentor, someone who has been through these challenges and knows what to do – someone like me! Reach out to them for any issues or advice that is needed.
REMEMBER WHY YOU ARE DOING NOFAP AND ITS BENEFITS:
You get improved self control:
NoFap offers a supercilious challenge to many men and women. Us men (and women) are wired to be very sexual and the urge for sexual gratification can be incredibly strong. Most people don’t realize just how powerful their instincts are and how strong the urges will be when you try to quit self-stimulating practices for good.
If you have ever experienced success in sexual self-denial aka NoFap then you know it creates self discipline in other areas of life as well. Some of these include improved work performance and the ability to regulate emotions better which helps in so many other facets of anyone’s life. It seems reasonable enough that learning self-discipline or self-control in one area of life could potentially carry over to another.
You get self improvement:
Yes, many of the reported benefits of NoFap are anecdotal but I have experienced these benefits myself. You get benefits on a physical, mental and spiritual levels. You will also get boosts in morale, energy and self confidence. Many see “super powers” such as natural muscle growth, better sleep quality, lowered stress and anxiety levels and even enlightened spirituality.
There is no hard-scientific evidence (yet) for NoFap but we are just at the cusp of understanding the long-term effects of an augmented environment (porn) on our mind. And thus, many people are turning to NoFap and dopamine detoxing for a better way of life.
Make your sexual appetite and behaviours better:
A lot of NoFappers find their sexual behaviors troublesome in some way or another. For some it’s an issue of morality or faith and for others it is a dysfunctional addiction. Furthermore, other fappers tend to feel out of control in some way because of their sexual urges. They may feel it isn’t healthy not to be able to control your own body.
The one thing that many NoFappers have in common is that they suffer from a pornography addiction and compulsive masturbation habits albeit for various reasons. Many feel that there is shame in this fact and as such, they anonymously seek solace, help as well as acceptance in a like-minded online community which pursues abstinence of pornography and better relationships to porn-masturbation-orgasm [PMO] as the solution.
It is healthy to always do introspection and evaluate our behaviors to see how they affect ourselves and others as well as find ways to fix any issues. As I always say, evaluating our self is the first action towards positive change. Again, addressing unwanted behaviors in one area of life could make it easier to do so in other areas.
NoFap provides a community:
NoFap provides a judgement free and uplifting community to those that would otherwise not have it. A lot of men and women who have a porn addiction have no-where to go and no-where to turn to except for the NoFap communities they find solace in.
For many, NoFap allows them to be part of a like-minded and safe community. And, since it’s dealing with secretive sexual practices, it also provides an unparalleled level of transparency.
That type of transparency can often be tough to find outside a community like NoFap. After all, most of us aren’t going to walk up to someone at work, various social gatherings, or within our family and friend circles and talk about about our PMO habits.
Many participants find it freeing to share these taboo things with the NoFap community they may never share with anyone else. When they can communicate the deepest parts of who they are and not feel judged, that creates a highly meaningful connection with others. It’s hard to argue against that type of transparency and depth of discussion without judgment.
HOW TO DEVELOP INTENSE FOCUS & DISCIPLINE
- Make it easy to win and hard to lose. Use an ad block. Delete social media. Make it easy for you to stay focused because all the distracting things to do are out of question.
- 5 daily battles. Make a list of the 5 things you got to do tomorrow. If you do these 5 and nothing else, the day is a win. DO THEM.
- Workout. Breaking a sweat and doing physically demanding things is the #1 way to develop discipline.
- Dopamine detox. Cut out social media. Stop watching P*rn. No more Netflix. Use your phone 30 minutes a day for 2 days. This will reset your motivation meter and allow you to stay focused.
- Listen to a subliminal. There are many subliminal audios (tracks filled with affirmations to enter your subconscious mind) that help with discipline. I’ve used this one in the past.
- Accountability. Tell someone what you are going to do and create a punishment. If you don’t do X then you must give him 100$ or whatever you decide.
HOW DO YOU LEARN SELF DISCIPLINE?
- Discipline begins with the body. Going on a walk, strength training, or anything else increases your discipline.
- Discipline is tested through challenges. Going through 30–90 day personal challenges can upgrade your discipline levels. One of the greatest feelings is doing what you set out to do, especially if it is over a long period of time.
- Being around disciplined people. When I visited my mentor in Colorado, I was stunned at his discipline levels. Things that were challenging to me, were effortless to him. Week after week, without realizing it, my exposure to him influenced me. It forced me to become more disciplined without even noticing it.
- Habits are everything. Understanding the science of habits is crucial to becoming discipline. You don’t want to rely on willpower to do your daily activities.
- How you do everything is how you do anything. When I internalized this principle, everything changed for me. Begin to wash your dishes perfectly. Make your bed as if it was a 5 star resort. Brush your teeth with excellence. Do everything to the best of your abilities. This process helps you develop discipline through all the micro moments of your life.
HOW TO REGAIN LOST DISCIPLINE
Focus on the small steps. The fundamentals.
- Workout. If you do that and nothing else – the day is a win.
- Wake up early. You’ll be tired for 2–3 days but the discipline benefits are worth it.
- 5 daily battles. Write 5 things you got to do tomorrow. If you do this and nothing else – the day is a win.
- Slay the dragon. Do the thing you least want to do (have the most resistance) first.
- Celebrate your wins. Every time you complete your 5 daily battles, or slay a dragon, workout and wake up early. Celebrate it.
WHAT MOTIVATES ME TO BE DISCIPLINED
I used to judge myself based on how I felt motivated. Thinking some forms were ‘less’ than others.
The reality is, it’s best to take any and all motivation how it comes.
It’s all nice and dandy to say something like “I get my motivation thinking about becoming my best self”.
Sometimes that’s the case, but probably not for most.
Let’s be real.
- To workout I think about looking better than other men, looking sexier for my girlfriend, feeling strong and healthy.
- To work on my business I think about how terrible it is for me to work for another person. This motivates the heck out of me.
- To wake up early (this is never easy), I think about how this separates me from the pack. No one will do this, no one is willing to do this, but I am. That drives me.
- Looking at people I admire, for instance, Conor McGregor. Seeing a clip of him training and focused can spark me up for a week.
- Any pain and stress in my life is motivation.
- Any sadness is motivation.
Everything that happens in my life can be fuel to keep me going further in life.
Do the same for yourself.
Take every form of motivation that comes to you. Don’t judge them.