Many NoFappers feel like it is the end of the world whenever they have a relapse. But, if you are well into your NoFap journey then a relapse or even two doesn’t mean you have to start over at square one.
This is a very common question asked a lot in NoFap and Semen retention sites and forums. Some people have the mentality that if they have already had a relapse then they have failed so they might as well take advantage of the relapse by PMOing or worse. What many fail to realize in doing this I think what a lot of us fail to realize is that, even though we’ve relapsed, it doesn’t mean that all our effort during the past days or weeks were in vain. Our brain is very plastic and has a remarkable ability to quickly change itself and heal. Even if you haven’t gone the full 90 days, you’ve still given your brain a lot of time to rewire itself. One relapse does not completely reverse that. I know that some of you out there have some serious issues with PMO addiction and can’t possibly go more than a couple of days without relapsing, but remember that even if you manage to go only 3 or 4 days without it, it’s still a huge improvement over doing it once or several times a day. For every day and every hour you abstain, you’re giving your brain the precious time to heal.
So, no – one relapse doesn’t completely destroy all progress made. But it does prevent the reboot. The most dangerous part about relapsing is the threat of binging afterward. If you go two weeks PMO free and then binge for a week there’s a good chance you lost all the physical and neurological progress you had made – but one PMO session would definitely have less of an effect. Here is the thing, would I count your NoFap progress as a full reboot if you go 45 days, have a one time relapse or reset and then go another 45 days? Nah, a full reboot is 90 days with absolutely no PMO. Going 45 days and having a relapse is okay since no-one is perfect – but if you relapse then you are offsetting some improvement no matter how small that offset is.
The key here is to continually make progress – you need to treat your recovering brain as you would a broken ankle. If you break your ankle and you are in a cast, the last thing you want to do is aggravate your injury by putting weight on that broken ankle. Imagine if your doctor told you that you have to wear the cast you have on your ankle for 6 to 8 weeks. But, imagine that after 3 weeks you’re in a hurry and accidentally put all your weight on that ankle – it will hurt a lot and you will start to worry that you might have inadvertently damaged that angle. One of the best things you would think of doing is not applying more weight on that ankle so you do not damage it any further and give it time to heal. The same goes for NoFap, it is not best to binge after a relapse as to not aggravate the healing process you are already in.
Many people have a tendency to want to abandon all hope whenever there is a failure rather than automatically thinking about what went wrong and what could be done about it the next time. I have seen this type of attitude display over and over and over through-out my years. As soon as an incident occurs, they go over the top with careless disregard for all the progress and improvements they have made in the weeks or months of practicing NoFap.
Accidents happen and we should indeed prepare for failure. Sometimes it feels like we’re never going to relapse – like we got this under control and will never succumb to the temptation again. And then we find ourselves a month, or even a year, down the road with the dick in our hand having just relapsed. It can happen to the best of us. What we need to do is to prepare ourselves for this and have a contingency plan such as going for a walk, talking to your parent(s), taking a cold shower, doing your favorite hobby, or even learning something new. These will all help clear your head or keep you distracted from relapsing.
Then go reset your badge and feel the determination within you to start anew. See it not as a failure but as an opportunity to learn and challenge yourself further. See it as a chance to come back stronger and wiser than before.
The bottom line is, if you have been doing NoFap for a while now, a slight slip up isn’t that big of a deal. Just try your best not to do it again. Remember why you are doing NoFap and the benefits the practice has.WE ALL FAIL – it’s our ability to pick ourselves up and continue going that in the end determines our success.