Don’t expect much when dating. In fact, expect most of your relationships to fail. But, don’t give up. There is hope.
I always say to expect to expect nothing when dating because if you have any sort of expectation then you can be let down. But, that does not mean you should not have standards. Standards are a must in dating or you can and will SIMP OUT.
JUST DON’T EXPECT ANYTHING.
Expectations will give you tunnel vision and that tunnel vision will lead to oneitis.
Your brain loves to follow patterns, whether it be psychical, or emotional. Emotions are a subjective, conscious experience characterized primarily by psychophysiological expressions, biological reactions, and mental states.
Everyone has emotions, but sometimes these emotions are what drives us astray.
Having emotions is good but being enslaved by them is a different story.
Oneitis or One-itis: Is described as a feeling that a certain girl is one of a kind, unique, and no other girl could compete with her. You think she is the perfect one for you. You can’t get her out of your mind, although you didn’t know her for an extended period.
With Oneitis, a “relationship” can be very one-sided and very imaginary.
Oneitis happens when you involve your emotions too often and/or too early. And it varies in forms and degrees; from a newbie getting obsessed over a girl who doesn’t even know he exists, to the playboy billionaire (Bruce Wayne type) that has hundreds of models in his life but can’t get over that one girl.
So thinking about a girl and her amazing traits for a period of time develops a pattern in your brain and it is this pattern that set the oneitis. It causes you to think about that one girl over and over and over again and these thoughts can’t and won’t leave your head.
If you realize this is simply a pattern your brain is following, it becomes much easier to shrug off oneitis. Along with understanding that the more you invest into making something work, the more that something will seem special and valuable to you, this is called sunken value (aka The Sunk Cost Fallacy). Furthermore, don’t go into scarcity mindset, there are girls in the world that are as awesome and as pretty as she is. Plus, value the limited time you have on this earth and understand that there are better things to do than just feeling sorry for yourself and pining over a girl. Work on yourself and your life. Meet other girls, and give them a chance to be themselves without comparing them to the girl from your oneitis case. And last, understand that the feelings you are feeling are real, yet they will go away, use that hurt and channel it into something useful. Be a better you everyday.
The thing is, dating has changed. Dating has changed and when dating as a Millennial or Generation Z you need to go in with good intentions but not expect anything when dating. People have a false sense of options and online dating is a mine field with rude people, users, liars, cheats and people looking for free meals.
The best thing to do is work on yourself everyday, date with honesty and root out deceptive and dysfunctional people while not catching oneitis. Be the master of your emotions.