Yes, you can be that Jedi lover in thoughts and actions. Let desire be fulminant and be a fiend with your emotions.

A lothario is described as a man who behaves selfishly and irresponsibly in his sexual relationships with women. A lothario suggests an unscrupulous seducer of women, based upon a character in The Impertinent Curious Man, a story within a story in Miguel de Cervantes’ 1605 novel, Don Quixote.

Sometimes you have to be a selfish lover, this can then make you in turn very attractive to certain partners.

Not selfish as in being pleased and that is it. But pleasing your partner while selfishly showing your lover how you want to be pleased without exception.

Men, it is important to know how to please your partner and leave her satisfied or she WILL look elsewhere.

This is the age of cheating and convenience – if you are not doing what you are supposed to then someone else definitely will.

This is why it is also important to be open and honest and be a good sexual match with your partner.

Now there is a difference in feigning an irresponsible behaviour in relationships versus actually having such a behaviour.

The fact is, women like unpredictability when it comes to romance, but never with finances. A woman wants a man she can talk about to her friends, sister and even mother. She wants to tell them how nasty, wild and strong you are in bed. She wants to tell him how you turn her out and use her body for your own means and pleasure. She wants to tell her friends so they rive in jealousy at your epitome of sexual avarice.

Yes, there are many dorky guys around that wear avengers branded t-shirts, have on jeans that are the wrong fit, and wear knitted sweaters from their mother. But that doesn’t mean they can’t be a sexual alpha.

You can have great sex and be attentive in the bedroom even though you might feel your sexual needs need to come first. Heck, some women like that you place your sexual needs first because they want to please you, and are pleased that you are pleased.

Furthermore, being dorky does not directly translate into being a beta. Being a beta is a mindset where you don’t stand up for yourself, you don’t have a strong will and you let people take advantage of you. Being a dork previously meant you were socially inept or awkward and extremely unfashionable. Some people might think this way still but the crazy thing is, society has shifted towards having a dorky look as something fashionable and ‘the in thing”. Check out the latest fashion trends or shows such as “The Big Bang Theory”.

Now, I have always said, to avoid becoming betacized and to maintain a relationship of trust and respect then you need to always be sure to sexual please your partner.

The idea of having intercourse with a woman in a way that doesn’t match your personality is a thing of the past. Being a dork and having hot passionate sex like an alpha can be easily reconciled. They are not opposites and can exist together. You can be very respectful yet still take charge in bed.

Be the Lothario that channels the alpha attitude in bed. Take steps to embody a dominance during sex that will yield incredible results. Now, not every girl wants to be the more submissive partner, but it seems like most of them do want a guy who can be a bit of an alpha in bed, no matter what he’s like outside the bedroom.

There are countless couples where the woman wants the man to be a bit more dominant when they have sex, while the guy may think he’s just too shy to pull it off. This should not be the case. Thus, it can take a bit of work to make a shift in mindset, but any man can become the sexy alpha their partner wants them to be.

Having sex like an alpha is all about having the right attitude and nothing is going to kill your alpha vibe like being too timid. You need the confidence to take small risks, get creative, step outside of your routine, and take the lead.

If you don’t already have the sexual confidence to do that, there are a few different things you can do to improve it.

First, study sex, read up on it and learn from different sources. Since you’re trying to satisfy a woman, make sure you read lots of articles and blog posts by men and women. They’ll have a lot of first-hand insights that will help you really tune in to your partner’s needs.

Then, you will need to find a style that you’re comfortable with and get a good idea of what sexual confidence is going to look like for you. For example, if you’re shy, you won’t be able to throw her on the bed and dirty talk her ear off – on the other hand, work on being quietly confident and focus on her, not the outcome. Don’t think whether or not you are impressing her but work on giving pleasure and listening to her feedback. It can be easy to get in your head and worry about how well you’re doing, but if you just pay attention to her the entire time, you’ll do fine.

One of the reasons women find it so hot to have intercourse with someone who takes charge is because it makes them feel wanted. When someone takes that attitude, there’s no doubt about the fact that they desire you. You want to give her those feelings then you must start long before the clothes come off.

Become more seductive. You don’t have to do much — just a few little things throughout the day to show her that she’s on your mind.

Make some flirty comments and send a few suggestive texts. Do something thoughtful for her. Create sexual tension through touch – touch her waist, touch her thighs and touch her hips. Remember, as I have said here, on how to touch a woman, slow movements are always better than fast ones.

Chase her a little, but don’t overdo it. You want to make it clear that you desire her, but you are not desperate for sex. You want her to understand that by the time the clothes do come off – the reason she is horny is because you made her feel that way.

If you’re kind of timid, being a little more dominant during sex might not come naturally. But that’s okay. It doesn’t have to come naturally because it’s just a role you’re playing.

This is one of the things that trips up a lot of guys. They think it has to be an integral part of their personality. And then they feel silly taking charge in the bedroom because their lady knows they’re not like that outside of it.

None of this makes a difference because it’s less about who you are and more about the dynamic you’re creating in the moment. You can be the sweetest of guys, but when you take on an alpha persona during intercourse – she’s going to feel the heat. Remember, alpha’s give off an energy, it can even be sensed in the forms of a smell, heat, or even light.

If this is still a struggle then try taking on the role of an authority figure. This will make it easier for you to be more authoritative during sex. Just make sure you know what types of role play turn her on – for example, you are certain she will be wet at the thought of you being the jail guard coming into her cell to punish her for what she did on the yard earlier in the day.

PRO TIP: Try not to role play more realistic scenarios such as being her boss that she has to be naughty with to earn a raise or get perks at work. This hits too close to home and might send your partner’s mind down a rabbit hole, especially if she finds her boss attractive. The idea here is to set yourself up for relationship success and not failure. You don’t want your bedroom role-play becoming a real-life problem when she tries what you did with her to her boss.

Sexual compatibility is of the utmost importance in a relationship.

But be ready to laugh if you and your partner are role playing and things don’t go perfectly. There can be a tonne of pressure on both sides and there will be slip-ups, and that is okay as long as you both can laugh about them.

Remember to not take yourself too seriously or you might have a ruined night of alpha sex role playing. Don’t worry about getting everything right. Don’t worry about embodying your dominant persona perfectly and be ready to laugh whenever possible if in an awkward situation.

Furthermore, if you think you can’t bring a more alpha attitude during sex, it might be because you’re not understanding what an alpha really is. The reality is, the guys who are the most vocal about being alpha males usually aren’t the ones who really embody what it means to be one. Being an alpha doesn’t mean being an asshole or having a toxic mentality. If this was the case then no-one would be impressed by alphas – real alphas are confident and not brash, they are leaders and not jerks. They are men that own up to their mistakes, handle responsibility and hold themselves accountable for their actions.

If you’re empathetic, attentive, fair and a good listener then these are all qualities that can help you take on an alpha attitude during sex.

Unless you’re sexually submissive, I believe every guy has the capacity to be an alpha in the sheets. All you need to do is tap into your desire for your partner and bring out the right traits in yourself.

Forget everything you think you know about being an alpha male and just project confidence while being attentive to her desires. That’s really what it all comes down to.

It might take you a while to get there, and that’s fine since alphas are not made in a day. It is a build up of experiences in life that culminates into a type of personality and behaviour.

If your partner wants you to be more dominant then take those steps now. Build your sexual confidence, seduce her throughout the day, and takes charge during sex.

Be the Lothario man that gives her what she wants by giving yourself what you want.